Latest Trends for the Most Romantic Goals on Any Wedding List

You've got the venue booked. You've got the florist. You've probably spent more time than you'd like to admit choosing between two nearly identical shades of ivory for the table linens!

I get it, I so do.

But there's something that’s almost never on the wedding to-do list.

Setting a goal together. Like, one real, written-down goal for your first year of marriage.

I know, I know. “Goals” sounds like something you'd hear in a corporate meeting. Stick with me, though, because it’s such an incredibly most romantic thing to do during your engagement. And it takes about 15 minutes.

Your wedding day is one day. Your marriage is the rest of your life. The couples who are still madly in love decades from now didn't get there by accident. They got there because somewhere along the way, they sat down, looked at each other, and said, “Here's where we're going. Together.”

Goal-setting on its own doesn't sound romantic. I'll give you that.

But think about what it requires. You have to sit across from the person you're about to marry and talk about what you really want. Nope, not wedding stuff. Life stuff. The stuff that will be there long after the last guest leaves and the honeymoon high fades away.

What do you want your first year to look like? Where do you want to be in five years? What kind of life are you building here?

Those conversations are intimate. They're vulnerable. And they'll bring you closer than picking out another centerpiece ever could.

When two people commit to a shared purpose, it changes the way they move through the world together. You stop being two solo individuals who happen to live in the same house. That’s called a roommate! Instead, you become a loving team with a clear direction.

Can you get any more romantic than that?

I'm not talking about be happy or love each other more. Yes, they’re nice things...but they're not goals. A goal is specific. A goal is something you can look at in 12 months and say, “Check…we did that.”

Here are some categories to get your wheels turning.

This one is fun and an easy place to start. Where do you want to go together in your first year? And I don’t mean only the honeymoon.

Perhaps it's planning your first anniversary trip to a place you've both always wanted to visit. Maybe it's saying you’re going to explore one new city together every quarter. Or you book a private villa somewhere far way for a long weekend.

The point is, you're deciding together what adventure looks like for your marriage. And then you're committing to it.

Stay with me here. Money talk isn't exactly candlelit-dinner conversation, but when you and your partner are working toward the same financial vision, it creates a kind of partnership that spills over into everything else.

Perhaps you want to start working on an investment portfolio together. Or you're saving for your first home. Maybe you want to set up a joint account specifically for experiences, travel, and things that bring you joy as a couple.

Whatever it is, put a number on it. Put a date on it.

You'd think this would be obvious for newlyweds, but that’s not always the case. Careers, social obligations, family, all of it starts competing for your attention the second the wedding is over.

Here’s a solid one. One night in together per week with no phones. Crazy, right?

Or one special night out per month. One weekend away together per year. Simple yet specific.

You could also commit to a weekly ritual that's yours. Like Sunday morning coffee on the patio. A Wednesday night cooking session where you try a new recipe together. A Friday evening walk with no set plans.

Training for something together is a great bonding experience for couples. You might sign up for a 5K on your six-month anniversary.

Or perhaps hire a private chef for weekly meal prep so you're both eating well without the stress. You could even book a couples wellness retreat and make it an annual thing.

Notice that the goal doesn't have to be intense. "We're going to take a morning walk together three times a week" is a perfectly good goal. The point is that you're investing in your health as a team.

You two might set a goal to read a marriage book together before the wedding. Or learn each other's love languages (and then actually use them). Perhaps it's a weekly check-in where you ask each other, "How are we doing? What do you need from me?"

This kind of communication is what separates couples who grow together from couples who grow apart. And starting before you're even married is such a solid head.

It’s quite possible you're going to start a brand new family. And hey, that family gets to have its own traditions!

What does your first Thanksgiving look like? What's your anniversary ritual going to be? Do you want to start a holiday tradition that's completely your own?

I love when couples set a goal around this. It could be anything! An annual trip to the same restaurant where you had your first date. A New Year's Eve ritual. A once a month adventure day where one of you plans and the other only has to show up.

These are the kinds of things that you'll look back on in and be so glad you started early.

I find there's something really inspiring about a couple that’s always learning. Take a cooking class at a top-tier culinary school. Book a private wine tasting experience. Learn to sail. Take ballroom dance lessons (and not only for the wedding, for fun).

Pick something neither of you has ever tried and go after it together. The shared experience of being beginners at something, laughing at yourselves, figuring it out side by side, is oh so good!

And if you want to learn more about setting SMART goals (my favorite) then have a look at this post over by Vibrant Life Oasis on how to come up with practical and realistic goals.

Pick an open night this week and pour something you both love. Oh, and phones go in the other room! You'll be ok, I promise.

Each of you writes down one thing you’d love to accomplish together in your first year of marriage. But don't talk about it yet, write first.

Then share what you wrote. You'll probably be surprised at how much overlap there is. And if there isn't overlap, that's great too! Because now you're having a conversation you might not have had otherwise.

Pick one goal together, make it specific, and something that excites both of you.

Write it down. And then, here's the part I love…both of you sign it.

It's like a tiny ceremony before the big one. A little promise on paper that documents what you’re creating together.

And if you prefer a digital option for your coming up with goals, then this might be right up your alley.

I’m so glad you asked! In my opinion, it’s three things.

First, it excites both of you. Not one person compromising while the other gets their way (please don’t do that!). Both of you should light up when you talk about it.

Second, it pulls you closer. That means teamwork, conversations, and dreaming together. If you can accomplish the goal without ever interacting with each other, it's not a couple's goal.

Third, it's tied to your story. Something you might tell people later on. “In our first year of marriage, we...” That sentence should end with something that makes you both smile.

Here's what I mean. Saving $100 a week is a goal. Ok, great! Saving enough for a two-week trip to the Amalfi Coast for your first anniversary is a romantic goal.

See the difference?

Once you've set your first goal, give it a few weeks. Let it settle in. Then sit down and do it again.

Your second goal can be bigger, more longer-term. It might where you want to be living in five years. Maybe it's a business you want to start together. Or it’s a legacy thing, a charitable cause you both care about, a family tradition you want to establish over decades to come.

I want you to have the most incredible wedding. The flowers, the dress, the first dance, the venue. Yes, all of it!

But the couples who still look at each other the way they did on their wedding day didn't get there because of the centerpieces. They got there because they decided way early on that they were going to build something together.

I believe that the most romantic thing on your wedding list isn't a thing at all, it's a conversation and a shared dream. And with that, happy dreaming!